Ugly Ducklings

When I watched the E! document about Adam he managed to say something that shifted tectonic plates inside me. :) He said: “I was afraid of my own success.” I know exactly what he means. And it changed me. How silly is that?

He knows how it feels to be different, how it feels to be the ugly duckling of your own life. And that is why he affects people so much. I’ve read countless of stories about people who’ve done something because of Adam, who’ve found the strength to change their lives because of him. I find it beautiful.

It’s also strange. We affect each other, we people. And the more people listen to us, the more we can do. He’s not a spokesperson of anything, but because of the way he is, the way he cares, he often is anyway. Can’t help it, this one. :)

The funniest thing about knowing what it’s like to be a freak? You appreciate everything you get. It’s like a rollercoaster ride you never want to leave because: whoa, life can be this good, too? So yeah, I think Adam’s influence is huge. And I’m glad I’m here to see where he goes from here.

Romantic Gay Relationships

Adam being gay will probably always mean something to his fans and to his not-fans. Some fans don't care, some fans care a lot, and some try not to care at all. I'd imagine. He's not trying to hide it in any way, and it's so in your face in his performances that if you try not to care and still want to watch him perform... Might be slightly difficult.

But what I truly love about him and his way of not hiding it... He brings romance and romantic elements to gay relationships. Of course it's all about sex too, and giving the audience what it seems to want, but in a way he's created the most romantic gay relationship ever. And it's probably not even real. But the fans ship it like crazy. Or some of the fans. Some don't care or try not to care.

Adam and Tommy on stage are romantic (or goofy or crazy or over the top... whatever). The kisses they've shared aren't the only thing that create this beautiful  illusion. It's more the looks they give to each other, or the way Tommy can pull Adam's stage persona down, or how they move together, or how they always seem to know what the other is going to do. It's fan service, of course, but it also isn't. There's love between them so it's easy to imagine any and all kinds of things between them.

And what's so special about that? People who have never found two guys beautiful together say that these two are. Adam has managed to break some kind of a boundary here, and it's maybe a very small thing, but it's still a change.

Gay relationships are often found to be only about sex. Every romantic element of relationships is all about heterosexuality. Two women can be cute together and they can love each other, but two men... there's nothing cute or beautiful or lovely about them? Or is there?

Adam and Tommy are beautiful together, and it doesn't have to be real in the sense of it being a relationship. It looks like closeness. It looks like trust. It looks like fun. That's enough. And I love them for doing it. It shows how much complexity there is between people. Not between men and women, between people.

Adam Lambert Products

I believe I'm brainwashed. :) Because in any other case I would think someone is trying to make me buy more stuff just because they want to make more money. I've bought two... correction three albums already. Really? Me who never buys any music? I bought the acoustic one from iTunes. And I now have For Your Entertainment (the US edition) and For Your Entertainment Tour Edition. Yeah, I'm telling you, lots of same songs.

And guess what? I'm going to buy the Glam Nation Tour DVD, too. And a shirt. And maybe something else too. Then why don't I feel like I'm being ripped off?

(Oh, and I'm going to buy Tommy's NOH8 picture, too, but that has nothing to do with this.)

Because Adam deserves every penny. He's worked so hard. He's done all those shitty jobs to get where he is today. I like following this journey because it's so different. Adam didn't really have any luck. Nobody found him. He found himself. And that's why I don't give a damn about how many "same" albums we get or how much things cost. Or whatever. I want him to succeed, beyond anything he could ever dream of.

There are people who would like to see him fail. I wonder why. I've never understood how someone's success could be somehow bad for me. The idea is completely ridiculous to me. The happier people are, the more they succeed in their lives, the better the world is, in my humble opinion. And success doesn't necessarily mean something you gain. It can be just happiness, or loving everyone you meet, or appreciating a good book. Success can be anything.

It's Christmas. I need to do some gift wrapping, and last minute shopping so I need to go. Merry Christmas to everyone.

The Era of Twitter

I finally created a Twitter account, and I’m kind of loving that world. I love the fact that stars can share what they want to share. Especially since Adam’s Glamily is very sharing and giving. I hope that this will mean paparazzi cease to exist. I don’t want to see pictures of Adam being annoyed and withdrawn. I want to see those goofy, lovely, beautiful pictures Isaac takes - or someone else who’s close to Adam. I want to see him smile. I want to see his eyes unguarded and lovely. Or sultry… whatever. But I want something real, and something he’s comfortable with. I’m not interested in every second of his every day. I don’t want anyone following him. I want him to give what he wants, when he wants. And he’s one open [insert a curse-word here].

So yes, I’m hoping Twitter, Youtube, blogs etc. will make paparazzi useless. I hope we’re closer to this change than ever before... Just because I want Adam to be able to live a normal life, to date whom ever he chooses without people following him around. I want him to be safe and happy. I don’t think he should pay this price just because he can sing and loves to perform and draws people near. I’ve actually never understood why people want to put this price-tag on fame. I know there are people who don’t deserve to be famous. Maybe that’s why people feel it’s okay for people to lose their right to privacy. I don’t know.

Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if I was famous. I feel very uncomfortable if people admire me. It’s easier if they admire something I do, but even then it’s mostly just uncomfortable. If people followed me around or thought I was something superspecial just because I do something in the spotlight… Yeah, not really my thing. But I’ve thought about paparazzi, and how I would treat them. :) Yes, I’m silly that way. I think a lot. But I would do what Drew Barrymore did (does). If they camped outside my house I’d give them milk and cookies. Because that’s just how I roll. I can’t help it.

What I wish for Adam? Lots and lots of days that feel normal and good while he makes the most beautiful music ever.

What Happens Next?

Why write about Adam Lambert? Aren’t there more important things in the world than a singer who does not compromise and who preaches about love? Not really. I believe every person creates their own destiny, and the more they give away the more they get. Adam Lambert is a perfect example of that. He’s maybe a front man, he’s maybe a Name, but he does not keep things to himself. He shares his fame, not just with his friends and family, but with his fans as well. What’s so amazing about Adam Lambert? His band and dancers are a part of his Glamily. His fans are a part of his Glamily. And the world is the glamorous playground where he performs.

The thing about Adam, the very thing that makes him special and different? He makes us love not only him but his people as well. His is the only band I know by name. I love each and every person in his band. Because it’s so freaking clear he loves them, and he shows it every time he goes on stage.

There’s nothing more adorable than a person who appreciate what he has.

Adam Lambert is not just a singer. He’s not just a performer or an artist. He is a creator of dreams. He reads people, he reads his audience, and gives them what they want. We want smoke and mirrors, we want something unattainable and beautiful, something otherworldly. But we also want genuine moments of weakness, softness, silliness. He gives us all that. He can mess up lyrics. He can fall down. He can go overboard. He can make mistakes. And we will love him more for it.

Because he’s so genuine in everything he does.

And because Adam Lambert creates dreams and loves his Glamily we, the fans, need him to confirm that he will keep these people, that Camila, Isaac, Monte, Tommy, Sasha, Taylor, Terrance and Brooke will be there on the next tour (if they are available), that they’re not going to disappear, that we’ll have them, too. Of course it’s possible that this will not happen.

The end of the tour means uncertainty to the fans. It means we don’t get our daily doze of Adam and his Glamily. It means we’ll have no idea what happens next (except that there will be a new album at some point next year).

Thank whatever deity for Twitter. And Isaac and his camera. We love you all. <3